Since my landing here in this great, modest land nearly 4 weeks ago I have applied for over 1000 jobs resulting in circa 25 interviews… the statistic alone is just sad.. to type… to read.. to be true… I just… moving on.
Previously, I have been pretty good at gauging on interview and knowing whether I might make the shortlist or whether they cannot wait for me to leave..
But here in America, you people have such a god damn positive attitude its impossible to tell whether you loathe me or want to marry me and not have children together! Give me tough love if I need it, give me a wink, a finger salute… ANYTHING.. just some sort of idea if we will speak in the future or if we will never encounter one another again.
I legit leave every interview being like… F**K YEAH NAILED IT!! No… still unemployed.
Even worse than that are the fellow interviewees who speak to you, offer you advice, make small talk… what the hell is your game… what cunning plan is afoot here. Are they trying to shake my zen, panic me, befriend me, kill me who knows…
But they share the interviewers totally false happy, friendly, warm demeanour at all costs… For an individual with a heart as black as mine, thats hard to take.
Take one of todays interviewees he arrives to the office wearing his shirt and slacks looking all slick and professional and strutting around like a peacock yeah, yeah great I get it… But wait… I do a double take he is wearing the company colors AS AN OUTFIT! Red shirt and blue pants and tie… In that moment I don’t know whether to vomit in disgust or applaud a man that clearly has his shit together and is playing some serious psychological warfare. 8 hours later and I’m still not sure what to make of it.
So tell me, am I the pessimistic, negative Nancy? Does this kind of shit not slay everyone? Soul destroying? Or, ‘personality building’?
Sounding off and signing off!
The Sounder Xo